She disappeared on April 20, at about 6am, from a patio window that the dynamic duo managed to slide open.

We’ve been checking the humane society and patrolling the neighbourhood.

I’m sad.

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

-Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

Fuji has (a) nicely figured out.

Now, although there’s a girly cat in our house, Ophelia, Fuji isn’t interested in her. She’s a wee bit too hefty for his liking. Instead, our lovable soft grey cat has another love interest…

…enter, stage right, the pink and blue elephant.

That’s right, our cat has a “thing” for something that doesn’t remotely look like a cat. It’s big, and floopy, and it’s got a long trunk, it’s got googly eyes; and it’s blue. We won it at the fair a few years ago.

There’s no buying dinner. No loving gazes. There’s just the mount, the kneading, the climax, and the dismount. To make matters worse, he’s got the libido of several pubescent rabbits. About every 15 minutes the cycle renews itself.

Why do we know about this torrid affair ? He usually drags the elephant out in front of the TV. He’s nothing if not an exhibitionist.

Underneath the macho kitty exterior beats the heart of a true suck. He’s a cool people cat who knows he’s cool and thinks he’s people. He routinely curses the lack of opposable thumbs.